Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
— Proverbs 22:6

As a kid, I made a promise: when I grew up, I would not be like my mother. And I had good reason—my mother knew nothing about parenting. She was mean! She even had a Mean Mommy Handbook. Following are just a few of the things my sisters and I endured.

If we weren’t ready when she was—or within 15 minutes of the designated pickup time from the mall, school activity, or outing—my mother would leave us, declaring, “This train is gone!”

She got up at 5 a.m. for devotions. If dinner dishes were still in the sink, she would wake us at 5 a.m. to wash every dish in the kitchen. She also had us rewash all the dishes if she found even one dirty one in the cabinet.

When one of my sisters decided to run away, my mother helped her pack, opened the front door, and watched her walk down the driveway. (As a side note, my sister didn’t quite make it to the end before changing her mind.)

If you saw one of us, you saw all of us. I was constantly forced to have my sisters with me at all times. If one sister participated in something, all of us participated. I’ll never forget how excited I was to make the cheerleading squad—until I found out my 8-year-old and 4-year-old sisters would be on the squad with me. (Yes—really.)

My mother had horrible—sometimes non-existent—parenting skills.

Or so I thought.

By leaving us, she taught us to be punctual, respectful, and considerate of others.

By making us rewash dishes, she taught us to do things right the first time, to be diligent, and to take pride in our work.

By letting my sister “run away,” she taught us to appreciate what we have.

By insisting we always be together, she built the foundation for our closeness and showed us the value of family.

By waking each morning at 5 a.m., she showed us the importance of spending time with the Lord and developing a relationship with Him.

Now that I’m a mother, I see not only the valuable lessons from the “Mean Mommy Handbook,” but I’ve even adopted a few pages from the book myself. Over the years, I’ve heard my own voice calling out expectations I once rolled my eyes at—and realized I meant every word.

As I’ve grown, I’ve come to realize, it would be an honor to be like my mom.

Her children arise up, and call her blessed…
— Proverbs 31:28