June began with a simple question.

What if…

What if I took myself seriously?

What if I stopped lying to myself?

What if “I’ll start tomorrow” became “I’ll do what I can today”?

What if I gave it to God—and left it with Him? Actually, let Him keep it.

What if I consistently showed up for myself?

I wondered what would happen…

…if.

Over the course of 30 days, I was excited, discouraged, tired, frustrated, and grateful.

Excited about the possibility. Excited to see how the month would end.

Discouraged and frustrated. The scale hasn’t been kind. One month of no alcohol, increased protein, strength training, cardio, and Pilates. And only two pounds gone. Surely the effort should have produced more than two pounds.

Grateful. I’ve seen God move.

Things are changing.

Not fixed.

Not perfect.

But changing.

I just needed to get out of the way.

Too often I get ahead of myself.

I think I know best. I think I know how the story is going to end.

Proverbs 3:5–6 (NET) says,

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He will make your paths straight.

That word, rely, was a game changer for me.

Trust seems abstract, and I often struggle with what it looks like to trust.

But rely…

I know how to do that.

Over the past 30 days, I’ve learned to own what is mine and mine alone.

That’s meant acknowledging that I don’t know what the future holds or how the story ends.

That’s meant realizing my span of control begins and ends with me. I have control over my attitude, my responses, and my actions.

That’s meant letting go and relying on God to do what only He can do.

It’s releasing control over outcomes.

And showing up anyway.

What if?

What if I faithfully steward what’s been given to me?

What if I take one step, and then another, one day at a time?

What if I’m patient not only with others, but also with myself?

What if?

I haven’t answered my question.

But have asked another one instead.

What if I keep going?